This week we have one of favorite controversial unsolved cases. This case is JonBenet Ramsey. We have a strong opinion on who did but we will save that for the end.

JonBenet Patricia Ramsey was born August 6th 1990 to Patricia and John Ramsey. Literally the weirdest combination of the parents name combined into one, but who are we to judge. Also the older brothers name was Burke, so pretty obvious who was the favorite. The family resided in Boulder, Colorado where she was enrolled in kindergarten.

Her father worked for Access Graphics, an IT company. He was married once before but ended in 1978. He had two children. In 1991, they moved to Boulder, Colorado where his company was located. Her mother “Patsy” doted upon JonBenet and would soon enter her into various beauty pageants. She won many titles including Colorado All-Star Kids Cover Girl.

On the morning of December 26th 1996 the reason her mother discovered her missing was that she found a ransom note demanding $118,000 for her daughter’s return. The note said they would watch for the money to be deposited and when it was, they would return JonBenet to her home. Patsy immediately called the police. When they arrived they searched the entire house but could not find any signs that someone has broken into the house. [cough cough inside job]

Just to connect the dots, JonBenet’s fathers exact amount of his bonus was $118,000. Also after Patsy calls the police, they find JonBenet’s body in the basement just eight hours later. Like HOW did the parents just not check every room in the house for their daughter just in case. Also it was later proven that the ransom note was written on paper from INSIDE the household. So. The parents are saying that they did not hear anything all night when the “kidnapper” was in there. So. The kidnapper took JonBenet in the middle of the night and wrote a note IN THE HOUSE, yet the parents did not hear anything. I think JonBenet would have at least screamed or something. Also Burke, the older brother, said he did not wake up not once until the police arrived. Anyway….

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JonBenet was found with her wrists tied and her mouth was covered by duct tape. A cord was around neck implying she was strangled. When an autopsy was performed, her cause of death was officially pronounced asphyxiation by strangulation with craniocerebral trauma. Aka she was suffocated and an injury to her head.

First, the police suspected a member of the family was involved with murder. But in 2008 all members were cleared from DNA testing. But with the DNA testing, they found an unknown male in the mix. All members of the family have maintained their innocents to this day.

As they further investigated, they found a footprint that the killer may have left on a suitcase placed below a broken basement window in the house. For a while the police also speculated that Patsy may have killed JonBenet after a rage induced by JonBenet wetting the bed. Burke late made an appearance on Dr. Phil [the Murray of true crime ©] debunking the mother theory saying she never got that mad at the kids.

Then there’s our fav theory. Burke did it. He was pointed out to have bizarre behavior during and interview on the Today show. He was laughing and smiling when talking about the day they found his sister’s body. #guilty

Now in 2006, a man named John Mark Karr confessed to the killing, through DNA ruled him out. Also the wildest theory is that Katy Perry is Jonbenet. We get a good chuckle out of this one.

Since this is an unsolved case there’s no way to know what happened for sure but here is what we think happened. We think that JonBenet and Burke were playing and things got a little too rough and he killed her. Now since they already lost one child at this point, they did not want to lose another child, so they covered up the murder to save Burke. And then the parent made up the ransom note to help deflect from the family. Which I feel it was pretty obvious because who else would know the exact amount he got for his bonus. It’s almost too obvious.

But we would love to hear your opinions on what you think happened, comment below on who you think did it!

So how are we turning this sad loss of a light into a baked good? We are doing what we do best and making a pun. We welcome….

A JonBeignet Ramsey

This recipe is inspired by Baker By Nature

Ingredients:

1 ½ cups warm water

⅔ cup white sugar

1 ¼ teaspoon active dry yeast

2 large eggs at room temp

1 cup evaporated milk

2 ½ teaspoons vanilla extract - that good vanilla as Ina says

7 cups bread flour - bread flour will make this super soft pillows. Do not opt for a sub here. Trust us.

1 ½ teaspoons salt

5 Tablespoons unsalted butter at room temp

Enough oil to fry them in LOL

Powdered sugar to dust on top

Alright let’s bake this betch.

In a bowl, mix the warm water, sugar, and yeast. Stir it up and let is sit for a hot sec while you gather all the other ingredients. Your yeast will start to foam and thats what you want!
In a stand mixer with the paddle, beat the eggs until smooth. Add the evaporated milk and vanilla. Beat in half the flour until smooth. Then on low, mix in the yeast, beat until smooth.
Finally beat in remaining flour. Now we had a hard time fitting it all in/ we did not want to break the mixer so we end up stirring a little and then pouring all out onto the counter and gave a few kneads until it came together.
Cover the dough with plastic wrap and let it hang out in the fridge for 2 hours.
Right before you start frying set up your station. This is important. I steady the frying pan, I set up a sheet pan with three layers of paper towels to try on.
Pour the oil in the pan over medium heat and let it reach 360 degrees.
Roll out the dough until it's about ¼ inch think and cut into 2 ½ inch squares. Or smaller if you are basing them off JonBenet.
Fry them equally on each side in batches. They should be golden brown. When done, toss them on the paper-lined baking sheet and start a new batch frying.
Enjoy warm!