When deciding who to do this week, we were debating on if we wanted to go to bike ride or not when were trying to figure out what to do on a sunny. We both remembered what happens on bike paths, Altemio Sanchez: The Bike Path Rapist/Killer. Potentially a valid reason we don’t favor working out outside. The world is a dangerous place y’all. So there it was, our case for the week was decided.

Altemio Sanchez was born January 19th 1958 in Puerto Rico. He was the youngest of three children born to Altemio Sanchez Senior and Lucy Caraballo. Altemio Sr was not the best of fathers and eventually was caught in an affair by Lucy. Lucy picked up the three kids and moved to Florida to start a new life. We don't know if you guys know the reputation about florida, but some crazy stuff happens there and comes from there. [Florida fans: as fans of true crime [ assuming since you are reading this] you are the exception, we love y’all]. When Altemio was still young, Lucy moved the kids again, this time to North Collin, New York, a small suburb right outside Buffalo. His childhood was hella rough. His mother eventually got the worst kind of boyfriend/man she could and brought him into the household. This boyfriend would beat Altemio and abuse him. This abuse also came in the form of verbal from his mother. She TOLD HIM that he was a mistake and that while she was pregnant she took a high dose of pills to try to force a miscarriage. What kind of mother does this, let alone tells the child all of this information. He didn't have it going for him from the beginning.

At age 17 Altemio committed his first rape which from all the information we researched we could not find out if he was convicted or not of this, so assuming he admitted to it to some friend or fellow inmate. [loose lips sink ships but also don't be a bad person]. 

In 1978, Altemio enrolled in the local college where he ended up meeting his eventual-wife, Kathleen Whitley. In the early months of them dating, she became pregnant with their first child. Two years later they married happily and had another son. Kathleen would be the one and only woman Altemio would have a relationship with. He took a job at a Trico factory until 1993 when he switch jobs to work at the American Brass Company. He would stay here until he was captured. 

Over the 1980s, Altemio raped an estimated over a dozen women. In September of 1990 he committed his fire murder, Linda Yalem at the Elliot Creek Bike Path. He was reported by his coworker as a suspect. Sidebar: this to me is like bible. Our co workers probably know more about us than anyone else. If a coworker turns you in, it's most likely the truth. Back to the story. Altemio had the same car reported to be seen. After his coworker turned him in, he came in voluntarily to be questioned. The station interviewed him, confirmed car, and took prints. But the prints did not match what was on the steering wheel of the victims car. Although she was raped but THEY DIDN'T TAKE HIS DNA. HMMMMM. 

In 1992, he killed again. His victim Majane Mazur was also on a bike path the time she was strangled, raped, and then killed. We didn't find too much post report and his involvement but we are sure the Cops was suspicious about him still. Later on in his court trials, he said that he has to kill her because they have communication before and she recognized him.

He went dormant for awhile after this victim. Pretty sure he was thinking he was a free man and quite literally getting away with murder. Unfortunately, Altemio’s parents both died within a year of each other in 2005 and this triggered something inside him. He needed to kill again. His last victim was Joan Diver on September 29th 2006. This we believed was an act of just trying to get out his anger. Joan was the only victim to not be raped but he left a bead of sweat in her car. [Aka DNA y’all].

So as if his coworker quite literally turning him wasn't enough, his uncle comes into the picture. After hearing another sad story about another victim with the same traits as all the rest, he came forward to the police. He confirmed that his nephew Altemio in fact borrowed his car the days it was reported at the places all the incidents were. This is when the hunt for the killer gets juicy. All the stars align for the cops, they just need his DNA. They perform an intense stake out. They have undercover cops on both ends of his street and they even switch up the cars when following him around town so he doesn’t catch onto them. One night, him and his wife were out to dinner and left a used straw, plate, and napkin on their table and the police swooped in and grabbed it when they left. [que Lizzo and DNA test his ass.] Now, for those unfamiliar, it takes 16 hours to process an urgent DNA test. If you are like us, the 30 seconds we have on the microwave for food is a long time, we cannot imagine 16 hours.

Since  you know the title of this post, you know the DNA came back a match. Now they just have to get him to the station. They were considering on how to get him there because if they ambush him, he may flee or commit suicide. So they contact him and let him know they just want to ask some questions and like a dumb ass he walks right on in to their trap. They interview him for 10 HOURS. And when it finished, they all walk out and say “we’re done here.” [we fantasize about how our delivery would be if we were cops, it's quite fun to look in the mirror while you are curling your hair and repeat it in different tone.] and Altemio thinks he is good to go. LOL. They book him and arrest him right on the spot. 

He would go onto trial and is convicted of three accounts of murder on August 15th 2007. In the state of New York you cannot try someone for rape that is past 5 years [ we got some beef with these types of laws but we will get into that another week.]  This day was special for multiple people in the courtroom but more specifically another person who was in jail. Anthony Capozzi was wrongfully convicted 22 years early for a lot of the crime Altemio committed. Anthony was paid 4.5 million dollars in wrongful conviction by the state and they brought to life Anthony’s Law. Former NY State Assembly member Sam Hoyt and NY State Sen Dale Volker made Anthony's Law that would expedite such lawsuits. 

Now how do we turn the awful human that is Altemio Sanchez into a wonderful sweet baked good well. We take the flavors of his home country of Puerto Rico, so we candied some Plantains and made a compote with it. And then a traditional french dessert in the Paris Brest which represents how he would choose his victims. The Paris Brest was created to celebrate the first bike race in France and is roughly just a wheel like creme puff which is right up our alley. 

We introduce to you, The Puerto Rican Paris Brest! And Man this is a good one.

Ingredients:

Shells:

• 1 cup water 

• ½ cup unsalted putter [1 stick for people who hate reading the side]

• ½ tsp salt

• 1 ¼ all purpose flour

• 4 larges

Custard Mousseline Cream:

• 1 ½ cup white sugar

• ⅔ cup corn starch

• 10 ish egg yolks

• 3 ½ cup whole milk

• 1 tsp vanilla [good the good good like Ina Garten]

• ½ tsp salt

• ¼ cup unsalted cold butter

• 1 ¼ cup unsalted room temp butter

Candied Plantains:

• 1 plantain slice [do not slice until ready to use but these babies get brown real quick]

• Enough sugar to cover the plantains, we understand this is vague but you will understand later.

We are going to make the custard filling first

1.Take out all room temp shit now so cuz we know you forgot, don’t worry your in good company. 

2. Grab a good size bow, we love our big ass metal bowl because us do boomerang worth shots of whisking but if you’re not extra like us, any bowl is good. 

3. Your are going to put your yolks, sugar and corn stares in the bowl and which until well mixed. Set aside. 

4. In a medium sauce pot, warm the milk, vanilla and salt until you getting teeny tiny bubble around  the edge. You don't want this milk to boil boil, you should be able to put your finger in the middle and it be warm but not too hot. 

5. Remove the milk mixture from heat [just turn your burner off and chill out there, we have a fav spot on the stove and not willing to move] whisk constantly and add half of the mixture to the bowl that has the egg mixture and whisk to temper. This means to heat up the eggs to be able to add to rest of mixture and them not scramble. 

6. Transfer the yolk mixture back into pot and turn burner to medium heat and whisk until super thiccc.

7. Remove from heat and whisk in the cold butter until 100% combined. You will want to pour into a Tupperware and then press plastic wrap on the top to create a “lid.” this will prevent your custard from getting a skin [we will save that for leather-face, JK…..maybe]

8. You will put custard in stand mixture and whisk room temp butter when you are ready to assemble, so let it hang until you have all the pieces.

9. Let's make those oh-so-beautiful shells. 

10. Grab your ingredients and get ready cuz this baby happens on the stove but preheat your oven to 425. And prepare your parchment paper. Take a biscuit cutter or circle about 4”in diameter and trace multiple onto each sheet of parchment. We made about 12. So about 6 on each sheet. 

11. Heat up a skillet on the stove and add water, butter and salt. Bring to a boil. Remove from heat and add the flour all at once. Continue to stir and it should come together pulling away from the sides and eventually becoming a ball. 

12. Scoop this ball into your stand mixer and run the paddle on medium -low for about 5 minutes to release some of the heat. It want it to be warm to the touch. If you add your eggs to soon while it is too hot it will scramble the eggs. If y’all are real fancy, get out your instant read thermometer and you should see 125 on it.

13. As you know by now, we are picky on how you add eggs to things. Add them one at a time beating throughly in between each egg. If you are paying attention, you will see way more eggs in the pic that we said was required. We doubled the recipe because we have coworkers that are pretty invested on the taste team of each recipe. [we love you all and appreciate you]

14. You will add all your batter into a piping bag. YAY CREATIVE FREEDOM. We told you to do circles but really any shape that tickles your fancy works and that works for piping tips too. We used a basic circle with a basic clean piping tip but feel free to go wild. You will just want to watch your edges while baking so they don’t get too crisp. Pipe your batter onto the shape you traced making little bulbs that are connected [hot tip: make sure the pencil side is on the bottom so your batter is on the clean side]

15. Bake for 20 minutes and then reduce over to 375 for 30 minutes. If you are baking batches, make sure your oven returns to high temp for your second batch or if you are cooking on two levels, rotate your sheets from top to bottom to get an even cook. 

16. Place done ones on rack to cool, poking a little hole with either a chopstick on wiggling a paring knife on one side for the steam to escape.

17. Candy the plantains. 

18. This one is easy. Your are just going to dip the sliced plantains in sugar and set in clean sauce pan until you get a nice brown color and all the sugar on the outside of the fruit is melted. You will want these to cool a little and then dice, set aside. 

19. Finish your cream but added back the butter and beating until incorporate. 

20. ASSEMBLY TIME. OK. Slice the shells in half length wise to get a top and bottom. Fill a new pastry bag with custard and pick a fun, fluted tip. And then grab your plantains. Your assembly line will go as followed: spoon some fruit onto the bottom of the shell, pipe cream onto fruit in a circular motion getting some height, top with top shell half. After all made are assemble, sprinkle generously with powdered sugar. 

21. Best eaten ASAP. but enjoy your Puerto Rican take on a Paris Brest.

While we debating on how to make this dessert we were thinking about how much we hate to run on bike paths[well actually in general, sorry doc] because of this creep so we will leave you with words of wisdom:

Stay Inside. Bake a Pie. And don't get murdered.